The hiatus is over! In case you’re curious, I was actually in Alaska and Canada, heading up the Inner Passage on an enormous vessel called the Norwegian Star. It had everything but an onboard liposuction clinic. You can understand why: the engines could push a gigantic ship through the heaving seas at 25 knots per hour, but asking the power plant to hoover out the collective results of 3000 thrice-daily banquets was beyond the ken of modern engineering.
It did have a resident magician, however. Vegas-quality legerdemain, baby! If he’d been working Vegas and pulled chocolate cake from someone’s ear, everyone would have been impressed. But on a cruise ship? Nah. You’d be surprised if a magician rummaged around your person and didn’t find cake. On a cruise ship you’re either heading towards cake or coming from cake. I did not know it was possible to eat so much. There were meals between meals. There were meals in the middle of meals. You could pass out in the main cafeteria with a room-service menu on your chest and they’d wake you at daybreak, pry open your mouth and pour a rich, nutritious slurry of eggs and French toast down your throat. By the end of the cruise you had to grease the doorframe of your cabin to get out. Every so often you tottered to the window to see whales, and you usually did, although most of the time it was your reflection.
Last week’s posts from your host, few as they were, came from the ship, written on deck around midnight as people played shuffleboard and walked around enjoying the brisk Alaskan temps. Mid-week, however, I spent half an hour of hideously expensive on-board internet time attempting to upload a then-and-now picture of the Nicollet Mall, and realized that this was time that could be spent eating. Specifically, eating cake. So I decided to take a vacation. Thanks to everyone who posted here in my absence! Now it’s back to work – if you can call this work. I don’t. Digesting nine pounds of Beef Wellington while the ship heaves in the swells: that’s work.
On this day the first State Capitol burned, in 1881. Things burned often back then; given that everything was made of wood, you’d think they would have been more careful, but in those days men regularly tossed cigar butts into piles of oil-soaked rags, apparently. That was the usual cause. Every day a man delivered new oil-soaked rags. Where do you want ‘em? "Oh, over there, by the stove, in the corner, next to the lamp and the cow with the fitful hind leg." A new capitol was built, and it didn’t have the chance to burn; it was knocked down for the grand palace we have today, which was paid for by a steep tax on cigars and oil-soaked rags.
Yesterday was the birthday of John S. Pillsbury, the spiritual father of the lovable Doughboy whose cheerful smile and delightful giggle blind us to the fact that his entire life is one desperate attempt to keep from being shoved in the oven. Here! Eat this! Not me! I’m self-aware! Pillsbury was also the governor of Minnesota – the eighth – and a great patron of the University of Minnesota. Says our invaluable historical helper, “he would visit the campus almost daily for the last forty years of his life.” Of course, he’s still there, in a way, and I don’t mean the building that bears his name. Anyone know where?
Good to be back – see you soon.
Welcome Home, James
You really are missed when you're gone & I don't know what that says about my blog-reading habits - I feel the same way about Blair...having you BOTH gone put a little glitch in my system, but you have worthy substitutes.
My in-laws did the Inner Passage cruise about 12 years ago. Same comments about the amount of food. The only 'cruise' I ever did was the Family Day cruise aboard USS Nimitz in Puget Sound...I don't suppose they launched any Tomcats off the Norwegian Star? It was pretty exciting!
MY vacation starts next week, when I fly out to Denver & then spend a week driving around the western prairies of my childhood. It's always tough to come back east after one of these trips, since the weather in Jax is deplorable in summer AND I hate cities. But if I don't go, I'll be even crazier.
Welcome Home to you and Your Lovely Bride and Beautiful Child!